21 Funniest and Best Alternatives for Masturbation Better Than Jerking Off

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Hello there! Are you also that person who wants to talk about masturbation, but don’t want to address it as “masturbation”?

Masturbation, itself is a wonderful and appropriate word to say; on the plus side, it’s gender-free. The act of self-pleasure is somewhat taboo in Nepali society. But, hey we are grown-ups now. Even if the word “masturbation” is taboo in our society, the talk about it must go on.

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Alternatives for Masturbation

With growing time, the alternatives for masturbation have become more creative we can use it among friend circles. No more shyness to address the supposedly forbidden deeds amongst them. These alternatives to masturbation are loaded with witty language. After all, vulgar slang like jacking and jerking off shouldn’t be given so much weight.

man with underwear around ankles

People on the internet have shared some of the funniest and best alternatives for masturbation. From the deep tunnels there, we have compiled a selection of 21 just for you. If you feel uncomfortable using the word masturbation, then you can use some of the alternatives from the list.

1. “In Spanish, we have many ways to say it:
-autodelicioso (Selfdelicious)
-lustrar la espada (Polish the sword)
-ahorcar el ganso (Hang the goose)
-sacudir la nutria (Shaking the otter)”

metal_gearmen

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2. “A ménage à mois.”

Heart2001

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3. “Man-handle the ham candle”

davidoff0078

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4. “Shaka, when the walls fell”

PoopNoodle

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5. “I always like “roughing up the suspect” or “beating it like it owed him money”‘

PhreedomPhighter

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6. “Shaking hands with the unemployed”

Betterthanbeer

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7. “Finding clarity.”

MagneZen

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8. “Threesome with a couple of no-shows”

Olorin919

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9. “A female colleague of mine once remarked that she’d had a really good strum the night before.”

Craft_beer_wolfman

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10. “Kinda unrelated but having a stroke really sounds like British slang for jerkin”

Burntcrisco

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11. “go away I’m baiting”

nerfzombies

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12. “A date with Palmela Handerson.”

rarestakesando

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13. “Flog the bishop”

No_Stats

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14. “Burp the worm
Give yourself a hand
Load one in the chamber”

PrizeWinningFart

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15. “Flicking the bean.”

SuperstitiousPigeon5

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16. “Cranking my hog”

speedostegeECV

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17. “Tickling the cat”

DelighfulLilPotato

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18. “Tug-of-war with cyclops.
Auditioning your finger puppets.
Badgering the witness.
And of course, spanking the monkey is a classic.”

AtelierNictus

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19. “For women – DJ’ing your own party.”

Demo_Model

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20. “Make the bald man cry”

Rated_R7

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21. “Slapping the bass”

Suspiciousquare

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Also Read: Besides Masturbation, Here Are 15 Exciting Things To Do When You Are Bored

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Anjali Magar

I am but a wandering frustrated youth that you could have run into just about anywhere.

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